


are you happy now?

by ralf



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angry Keith (Voltron), Gen, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, Keith's year in the desert, Pilot Error, Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Canon, Sad Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 01:06:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16506287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: Keith spends his days staring at the sky.





	are you happy now?

**Author's Note:**

> deliberately mishearing lyrics so they better suit my purposes: check

_You're a world away_

_Somewhere in the clouds_

_In a foreign place_

_Are you happy now?_

 

Keith spends his days staring at the sky.

It's so _blue_ , stretching endlessly across the horizon, spanning everything around him. Impenetrable like a brick wall, keeping him confined to earth better than any prison bars. Forget gravity, it's those infinte seas of azur that have him shackled to the red dirt of the desert. Pressing him down and to the ground until he's choking on dust.

The sand is deceptively soft beneath him, a sharp contrast to the cruel blade of fate that shredded his life and tore everything he held dear from him. Shredded his heart in the process. His lungs, too.

His voice is still working fine, though.

He uses it.

He screams accusations at the sky, lets fierce hot anger bleed through his veins, lets it seep back through every fiber of his being. It's all he's known for years. The short time without it wasn't enough to unlearn anything.

He yells and yells into the void above him until his throat is raw and his voice is nothing more than a faint whisper.

There's no answer.

His anguish fades away unheard, uncared for, meaningless.

Just like his rage this is nothing new. It's safe, in a way. With no consequences of his actions to fear he loses every inhibition he never had, and he says terrible things. Selfish things, hurtful things, vicious things.

_You got what you always wanted. You're living your dream, finally among the stars where no man has been before. Are you happy now? Are you_ happy _now?_

 

_There's nothing left to say_

_So I shut my mouth_

 

With no consequences of his actions to await he loses every will to keep going.

It's pointless.

The velvety night with her shiny stars twinkling down on him mockingly. The silence taunting him.

Loneliness enveloping him in a familiar hug, crushing his ribs and stealing his breath like a friend who's missed him.

Keith's lips are sealed shut.

No matter how much he cries, the one he wants to answer won't hear him.

 

_Won't you tell me, babe_

_Are you happy now?_

 

The first rays of sunlight glint on his tears like they would on morning dew.

Sometimes he wishes he could become part of the desert. He feels brittle and rough and unchanging, so he should fit right in. He feels like flakes of ash, his fire long since doused, suffocated, blackened and gray, easily dispersed by a gust of wind.

Nothing holds him here, not anymore.

 

_Are you happy now?_

 

He wonders, sometimes.

If, years from now, when the Garrison inevitably sends the next spacecraft to Kerberos, Shiro's mortal remains will be found.

If he's burried under tons of ice and glaciers, frozen in his moment of death, preserved for all eternity to never see the light of day again.

If he's drifting through space on an endless, aimless path.

If he was torn to pieces in an explosion, nothing left of him to recover and mourn.

It's easier to contemplate what became of his body than what became of his mind or his soul or his... what became of _Shiro_.

Did he vanish? Or is he still there, wherever that may be, in some form. Sentient.

Cold. Alone.

Scared.

Keith closes his eyes and blocks everything out, the sun burning down on him, the soft breeze sweeping over his skin, his coiling poisonous thoughts.

The only thing he can't shake off, the only thing that stays with him is the overwhelming encompassing need for Shiro to be okay. Wherever, any way.

Because if he isn't, if he's somehow out there in any shape or form and he's not alright... then what is the sense in anything at all.

 


End file.
